I was napping beside a colleague of mine. I had one more class to go before my activities for the day would bottle up. I had a pestering headache; of which there was no cause I could lay my hands on. The lady i was with, was copying some notes and so I took my nap beside her.
I woke up few minutes later with less headache. We still had a few minutes to go and so we picked up a conversation. I asked if she had seen the baby a colleague had just been delivered off. She wondered which baby I was referring to and then I went on to describe the student who gave birth to the baby. She nodded and laughed. She asked if I like babies or it was just that particular baby. To be honest, I love that particular baby more than I loved other babies. She was exceptional and she had a sweet syrup smell the first time I carried her which endeared her to my heart the more. She was tiny with gracious features. I was obviously delighted describing this baby and my colleague started to laugh. She paused and asked if I actually wanted to have babies and it seemed like a queer question. I answered her anyways. Contrary to my reply, she said she might not have any children or rather, would have just “one.” I was perplexed.
I didn’t reveal my perplexion but I needed to be sure of what she meant. As I nudged further, she told me that if she wanted to have a child at all, she wouldn’t be married. It was too big for me to swallow but I had to, so as to be able to reel off the words at the back of my lungs. As I was about framing my next question she told me to be careful even if I wanted to have kids. According to her, marriages don’t last in this day and age and as such, I should be prepared for anything. As she said it, she looked very serious and my face was stark with no emotion. She blinked to see my reaction but when she got non, she asked if I understood what she was saying. As I nodded, my mind was humming “God Forbid… Audhubillahi minna shaytani rajeem” To me, it was practically unfathomable. She carried on with her note and I prepared for the next class. I wondered why she had such notion but I dare not bring up a conversation I didn’t know how to end.
This lady is a non Muslim for one and besides, I have no idea about what she has gone through to make her arrive at such juncture. There was so much conviction and strong will in her as she spoke.
Islam shuns first, pre/extra-marital affairs and as well discourages divorce. Her views are obviously shielded by the realities of today but I never saw that as enough reason to not want to be married. As a matter of fact, a woman should be married in her early twenties (all things being equal).
The prophet of Allah warned against lots that would happen towards the end of time but also reinstated things that occur at every point in time throughout the reign of humanity. On his journey to the heavens, he discovered that majority of the dwellers of hell are women; of whom the lot constituted married women if you ask me. He, upon return, advised that women show appreciation toward their husbands and watch over their property. Though studies have shown that a lot of men fall short in their responsibilities lately, the bulk of divorce lies in the hands of women as its cause.
It would be utterly wrong for a Muslim woman to think she doesn’t want to be married for whatsoever reason; be it wealth or class, non supersedes the virtue of marital life.
Khadijah (R.A) was wealthy and well known, and had two husbands in the past, but still married the Rasul (pbuh). To think of it, she already had children in her previous marriages but still bore more in the course of her marriage to the prophet.
It is about time one realized that, rather than worry about the man one would get married to – not alone entertain the thoughts of divorce – one should worry about the betterment of oneself. Do you see yourself as a woman who would bring ease and comfort to the eyes, rather than rage to the heart? Do you think your ego is one which would never find a place of dwelling or one whose pangs are ever zealous? Do not learn from the lifestyle of the celebrities of our time as you would find nothing but broken homes with bottomless scandals in them. Learn from the lives of the heroes of our past whose heroism are forever plastered to the walls of our hearts. Emulate the heroins of yesteryears whose humility fetched them invitation cards to Jannah.
My conversation with this colleague may seem insignificant to the atmosphere of Ramadhan as nothing was about fasting nor praying, but it does have a lot to do with reviving the teachings of the prophet – and isn’t that what Ramadhan should be about? This is a reminder that even when the entire world is trailing a particular path, it doesn’t mean it’s the right path. Revive a Sunnah to get better. Watch less of Movies, as majority of these films have been designed to imperialise us. Read seerah and attend gatherings of knowledge.
May Allah assist us in upholding the flag of this Ummah. #Day9 #RamadhanDiaries #Celibacy ❌❌❌